Prowler was up early last Saturday and made his way out to West Auckland  Yes the one and only West Auckland, home of the Black Jersey, Black Tee Shirt and the infamous Mullett.  West Auckland also has the highest concentration of tyre kickers and V8 loving Holden and Ford enthusiasts then in any other part of New Zealand.

No one out West worries about getting a Number 1 fade with straight lines, Women don't get their “bangs” tamed. No, out West every hair dresser has long queues of people wanting to get their Mullets trimmed, Mullets frosted and there is even the occasional permed Mullet.  

What has this got to do with Football? Well nothing really it is all about giving the readers of Big Cat Football and the members of the Prowler Nation an insight in to the demographics of the hosting area.

The Trusts Stadium, well what can I say about this place. Whoever marked out this field was obviously not drunk the night before, the markings were extremely well laid out. Some of our venues had crooked lines and it looked like somebody was marking things out with a bottle of twink. NOT The Trusts Stadium, what an AWESOME location to play the Kiwi Bowl Finals. The AFA Committee together with Typhoons Coach Mike Mau'u and his Management really showcased American Football in a brilliant venue. The position of the Grand Stand relative to the playing surface, the wired up refs as well as the brilliant and entertaining commentary I believe did a lot for our sport 

The first game of the day was the Junior Kiwi Bowl Final. We saw the Metro Predators up against the Junior Typhoons. Both Teams came out strong and from the opening drive it was obvious that Coach Meredith and his Predators were just going to smash mouth all the way.And smash mouth they did with 2 Rushing T.Ds to Jordan Richards and a couple of T.Ds to Charismata Vili the Metro Run Game just totally dominated the Typhoon Defence.

I also have to give props to the entire Metro O-Line, they created the opportunities which the Metro Tail Backs thoroughly exploited.  The Typhoons tried to run their usual quick slant plays but the Predator Line Backers made sure that all these guys faced was a wall of Black and Silver love, Happy Valentines Day Typhoons. The final score Metro Predators-30 v Waitakere Typhoons-0

The Colts Kiwi Bowl Final had the boys from H-Town make the trip up SH1 to the cauldron of West Auckland.  The Hawks had their backs up against the wall before the game even began. The Typhoon Colts were so stacked with New Zealand Junior World Cup players, there were more Black Helmets in that team then there were white.

The Typhoons had the JWC Line, JWC TAIL Backs, JWC Defence as well as the JWC Head Coach. And as for the Hawks well they turned up with that good ole Mooloo Spirit, these guys did not care about the drive, the atmosphere or the fact that the Typhoons were stacked. With some very astute Coaching from Rashard MacGee the boys wearing M.A.G.S Cambridge Blue, maintained their composure and played a very patient game to come out 16-6 winners over the Typhoons.

I liked the look of the Hodges-Tai boys, now I do not know if these guys are brothers or even cousins but they are definitely related along the way. Playing multiple positions and with a QB who was also very patient the Hawks really mixed things up, throwing to a 300 pound WR is enough to turn a Black Helmet wearing CB white.

Lets face it Offense wins Games but Defence wins Championships and for the Hawks, their Defence totally frustrated the star studded Typhoons. The Typhoons tried to smash it up the middle but the Hawks stopped them in their tracks, they tried to occupy Hawks “air space” but the Hawks DBs shut down that gust of wind. Congratulations to the Hawks, good game guys you deserved the win.

04:00pm rolled around and in the immortal words of Bruce Lee from Enter The Dragon “It’s Lao's Time”. We had planned the work now it was time to work the plan. The last time these two teams faced off against each other the Wildcats came out with a flukey win with 01:30s left on the clock. This week it was going to be different we had good game preparation, we had a game plan, we had a game face the problem was WE HAD NO GAME!

I was looking for my GPS! What about a compass? Geez even a DAMN MAP! I thought that I was watching an episode of Lost, I was that confused! Come on Hiro Nakamura, freeze time, anything! I looked at Coach Pilisi as we witnessed the Wildcats version of the “truck and trailer” just bulldoze right through the Metro Defence.  We should of cut the Wildcats right out of the game! Cut the man once, cut the man twice but after three times they would not of used that scrum play.

We had the Number 1 Defence in the League up until Saturday afternoon. We had a game plan set for the Red Army from the South, the problem is these guys were very well fed Ants. They ran the same boring play for most of the game and the only adjustments we made were to our helmets.  If we had Bruce Lee on the sidelines he would of asked the players “What was that? An Exhibition? We need emotional content. Now try again!”

Emotional content was missing from the Metro Lions Seniors, with the Wildcats proving that they really wanted the win more then anything. Yes they did run the same play and hey you don't fix what aint broke. The only variation they Wildcats had was sometimes they would run the scrum play down our left side and then other times they would run the play down our right.   

The Lions threw a few “Hail Mary Hallelujah Passes” in the 4^th Quarter. Coach Pilisi and I were praying for some sort of Divine Intervention and unfortunately all we saw was Tommy Wynnes shiny teeth as well as his Suzanne Paul like Natural Glow from the other side of the playing field, yes he looked like some sick, bald headed 1980’s porn star.

Last weekend there was no fluke, there was no miracle hallelujah finish. This was not the movies I heard no chants of Rudy, Rudy, Rudy there was no Remember the Titans moments our Finals Day was more like Bad News Bears and even that movie had a happy ending.

Congratulations goes to the Wildcats winning 22-0 against last years Champions.

As Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones once said

“You can’t always get what you want”

Of which I would like to reply …

But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need

 

I hope that you have enjoyed my articles. It was tongue in cheek or sarcasm to the uneducated. If you are offended by what I have written then I suggest you get yourselves a sense of humour.

Until next season, thank you to my faithful readers, thank you to all of you lovers and followers of Big Cat Football and The Prowler Nation.

Now it is time for me to switch codes and make the following predictions …

Mt Albert Grammar 1^st XV Rugby WILL WIN the Auckland Secondary School and National Rugby Championships.

Brisbane Broncos WILL WIN the NRL Premiership, Lucky 7 People.

Queensland go 3-0 in the State Of Origin and take it to 5 years in a row.

The Blues sack Pat Lam (he is useless) and win the Super 14.

 

Metro Lions Prize Giving

 

Where: Manhattans, Dominion Road

 

When: Friday 19^th February

 

Time: 06:00pm till 10:00pm

 

Cost: $25:00 per head, Children’s prices vary.

 

Everyone is welcome, please note that if you would like to drink anythig stronger then Orange Juice then you buy it yourself at the bar this is NOT a B.Y.O 

PROWLER OUT!!!